Dress Use #52: Sun Shade
Somehow I have managed to find myself busier now than I have been for a long time. I have a lot going on - there a lot of good changes taking place in this crazy life of mine . . . I'll elaborate later.
It is exciting that the days are starting to get noticeably shorter and that some slightly cooler temperatures aren't that far away. This is time of year in Tucson when most people are grumpy when talking about the weather.
It doesn't seem like that long ago that the corrugated accordian sunshade was a great new invention. In Arizona you pretty much have to stick a shade in your windshield every time you park you car. My ex-wife's wedding dress makes and excellent sunshade.
Windsock Updated
Tucson is not a particularly windy city which is why dress use #46, windsock, demonstrated the lack of wind that day. With some recent storms the wind has picked up and so I was able to get a more lively windsock picture. I also now have hope that the wedding dress kite might be a possibility. There was enough wind (I think) this week to get it off the ground with the right material. I need to be a bit more prepared the next time we get some really good wind.
Dress Use #51: Juice Strainer
I'd like to share a very nice comment that I received on my blog a couple days ago. In the early going when my site started to generate some traffic there were comments made by people explaining that they didn't know what to do with their wedding dresses. Some were from people who were divorced and others who were happily married but the message was clear - a lot of dresses are boxed up or hanging somewhere doing nothing. My brother Colin who takes the bulk of the pictures for the blog and helped come up with a lot of the ideas went to work trying to find some charities that are looking for used wedding dresses. He contacted a number of them and from those we selected a few to post links for on the blog. Those can be found under the DONATE A DRESS tab at the top of the main page. I have received messages from a few people now saying that they have donated a dress to one of these charities which I think is pretty cool. I received this message earlier this week from Jenn and would like to share it:
"Kevin, I just wanted you to know that your blog has been a source of positive inspiration for me.
After limping along for a while, my 14 year marriage finally ended in divorce just this May. Like your ex, I left my wedding dress behind when I moved out- not because I wanted to make a statement or because of any painful symbolism it may have but because it was in a little-used closet that I missed entirely in my sweep. I simply forgot it.
Ever since I started reading your blog, I have been thinking about that dress. I thought I might like to do something constructive with it like donate it to one of the charities you have linked to your blog but I wasn’t sure quite how to approach the forgotten dress issue with my ex. I didn’t want to give him the impression that I was dwelling on the dress or the marriage or that I was planning nefarious acts with the thing. I was dreading the awkwardness of the whole situation because conversations are always tense even when we’re talking about simple co-parenting logistics.
You however inspired me to “man up” and I did in fact get the dress this weekend. It is all packed up and will be shipping tomorrow to the Mary Madeline Project. Not that your personal growth process as documented here needs legitimizing of any sort but now none may say that your blog is not a force for good in the world. Because of you, at least one woman has done something positive for others and taken another step in her own journey."
I have received suggestions from a number of women suggesting things my ex-wife's wedding dress can be used for in the kitchen. I guess when I used it clean dishes and take hot stuff from the oven I was only scratching the surface - who knew? I was inspired by a family friend, Leah Davis, to attempt to strain some juice with it - not your everyday juice but juice from the prickly pear cactus that grows wild all over our desert. I was able to find a clean section of the dress, strain some juice, and put together a relatively tasty margarita. Thanks Leah.
Dress Use #50: Bath/Shower Mat
Please keep your comments and divorce story e-mails coming myexwifesweddingdress@gmail.com. I have been thinking about what ultimately can become of this site once I am done putting my ex's dress to good use. I think it could be a place for people to share their stories about starting over. There have been a lot of great comments made on my blog. I am touched by what a lot of people have been willing to share. Here are a few comments that were touching and others that are just funny:
Dixie wrote: I love this blog. I, too, went through a messy break-up and ultimately divorced from my husband of 18 years, with four children between us. Nothing about our former life still exists. I was a stay at home mom and now trudge to work every weekday. It’s been a time of many struggles and trials for all of us. I just wish I had an outlet like you have to lightheartedly deal with it all. I will have to settle for some vicarious therapy in watching you put that dress to good use. I think you have a healthy attitude about this otherwise difficult stage you’re in and I will enjoy following your blog!
My reply: Thanks for following along Dixie - I wish you all the best.
Nickie wrote: Hilarious! When my father was divorced the second time he cut the heart out of the wedding dress and returned it to the ex………….I thought that was the funniest thing ever but I think you have him beat!
My reply: That is extremely creative dress work Nickie and I love it - kudos to your old man.
Kate wrote: Good for you fella – (and I’m female) – divorce happens for so many reasons, mostly because folks don’t want to work – that’s W-O-R-K – at being married. It can be a tough slog sometims, but when tested by fire and we persevere – we come out the other side – Stronger – and that’s from personal exprience. I’m working on 20+ years now. Would I trade him in to start over? Not for all of Buffet’s $$ – Love that has passed the test of fire is sweet indeed.
My reply: Good for you Kate. I believe it can last and appreciate your testimony.
Bill wrote: Finding myself in the same situation, I stumbled across your blog. While I know your current life isn’t easy, you should know that your way of dealing with it is not only freaking hilarious, but very helpful to another suddenly single father who is in the same boat. I’m thinking about asking my soon-to-be-ex-wife what she plans to do with HER wedding dress. Thanks!
My reply: I wish you all the best Bill and hope you manage to keep that dress. It's good for so many things.
Meredith wrote: My ex-husbands tuxedo would like to meet your ex-wife’s dress!!
My reply: Classic Meredith. If you have his tuxedo you should see what it can be used for.
Jake wrote: (referring to what I pulled from the oven with the wedding dress oven mitt) Is your dinner popcorn shrimp and two slices of pizza. I’m so jealous.
My reply: You know it Jake. Left-over pizza and frozen popcorn shrimp . . . does it get better than that?
Leah wrote: (on my admission of what I feed my children) Kevin, please don’t feed your kids Toaster Strudals. Seriously. It’s not food. On another note…I’m planning to make prickly pear jelly late this summer and could used several layers of that mesh for straining the juice… I’ll trade ya some tulle for a quart of juice for prickly pear margaritas?
My reply: Leah you will be happy to know that I no longer feed my children Toaster Strudels. It was when they wanted them for dessert that I knew something was wrong. As for that prickly pear juice trade - where do I send the tulle?
My ex-wife's wedding dress makes an excellent floor mat for my shower or bath. I have pergo floors - the easy to install kind where you don't join the pieces. Water is very bad for these floors and the wedding dress offers better protection than any other mat to date.
Dress Use #36 Updated: Oil Cloth
Today is the first day of school for my kids. I never before knew why parents got very excited for the first day of school. I had a very hard time this summer establishing a routine that included taking care of my kids, putting in full week at work, and exercise. I now welcome the first day of school as an opportunity to find a routine again. My hat goes off to all single parents. My kids are with me 1/2 of the time and I am still challenged. To anybody who does it alone 24/7 . . . I'm impressed . . . kudos to you.
I posted oil cloth at #36 a few weeks back but have some updated pictures. Sean and Matt at Legendary automotive in Tucson have been servicing my Hondas for years. In fact, I only drive Hondas now because Hondas and Acuras are all they service at Legendary. Years back I used to take my Accord to a local dealership because I was given free oil changes for life with the purchase of the car. My brother, an Accord owner himself at the time, told me I would be better off paying for oil changes at Legendary because I was getting nickeled and dimed for all the other work that had to be done. I did some analysis comparing charges for certain services and now save a boatload of money and have guys working on my car that I actually believe when they tell me something needs to be done. Now I'm trying to convince my girlfriend she would be better off with a Honda but she has a Hyundia with a 100K warranty. I'm now convinced you get nothing for free with vehicles because all of the problems that she has until now haven't been covered by her warranty. She didn't read the fine print that says to qualify for warranty work her car has to break down between 1:30 and 1:40 on a Tuesday afternoon and when she brings it in for service she has to be wearing a baseball cap.
Sean and Matt told me to bring in my massive oil cloth for my last service so I decided to get a picture of the oil cloth application with guys who actually know what they are doing. Matt, shown in these pictures, says my ex-wife's wedding dress is the best oil cloth he has ever used.
Dress Use #49: Frost Cloth
I went to my cousin Jenny's wedding the weekend before last here in Tucson. I am very excited about her union with Robert and wish them all the best as they start their married lives together. They seem very happy together and I am happy for them.
The wedding was beautiful and the party that followed was a lot of fun. My Aunt Esther and Uncle Jim (aka Es and Zim) are an integral part of our family here in Tucson and are the best of hosts. My Uncle Zim, father of the bride, sang the song for the first dance which is something I have never heard of before. I thought there were many special moments throughout the evening but that was the one that touched me the most. I was glad to be a part of it all.
As special as I think that evening was I don't think that I will ever experience anything like it again as one of the people getting married. I'm not saying that I won't marry again but only that I am fairly certain I would never want the big wedding again for me. I wouldn't want Elvis to marry me in a drive-thru either but I think next time around I am going to pass on the major production.
A few people have suggested that I use the wedding dress as a frost cloth. I actually did in December last year on the one night that the temperature was supposed to drop below freezing (that's a lie it dropped below freezing at least 3 times last year - all the way to 30 degrees I think). I covered my hibiscus with the dress. OK so our winters are dreamy. I'm not trying to rub it in - our summers suck. That is why my lifelong dream is to be a snowbird. Is snowbird a term used everywhere? We call the cold climate people that winter in Arizona snowbirds. What do you call a warm climate person that summers somewhere else? Whatever you call those people - that is what I aspire to be.
Dress Use #48: Cape
Originally when I set out to find 101 ways to use the wedding dress my ex-wife left behind I was thinking practical applications. What real world manly (I'm a relatively tough guy) things could I use this dress for? Grill cover, tarp, rope, and shoe polishing cloth were all in the lineup. I kept the list to mostly practical applications until I started this blog. A lot of really good ideas have come from contributors on the blog and some of them have already been photographed and shared on my site: snuggie, umbrella, and smartcar cover are of few of the uses that came from comments posted here - thank you very much for sending your ideas. You can post ideas directly on the blog or email me at myexwifesweddingdress@gmail.com.
A use that has been suggested quite a bit is cape. I added it to the list a little while ago but didn't know exactly what I would do while wearing the wedding dress as a cape. Then, about a month ago my girlfriend mentioned to me that her friends that get together regularly for crossfit workouts were having a superhero themed workout. My girlfriend's friends are a great bunch and know how to have fun in the most painful way. They are crossfitters. I thought I was in reasonably good shape when I started going to some of their workouts. Crossfit is very humbling. I hope to get into it more and maybe one day I'll be able to hold my own against the likes of the Incredible Hulk but I have a long way to go.
So I showed up to the workout as Captain Wedding Dress and did an entire workout with the wedding dress cape. I worked out with Aquaman, The Hulk, Catwoman, Megamind, and Superwoman - to name a few. I wish I had the video of my first sprint. I wanted to get pictures of the cape flowing behind me when a torn section of it wrapped around my foot and I ate pavement at full speed. I guess a wedding dress cape doesn't make a superhero. The blood loss was minor and I was still able to participate in the full workout. The entire workout was entertaining and all of the costumes were great. I think one of the funniest moments was when The Hulk turned to me during the workout and said "I can't believe Aquaman just asked me for some water."
I can't post them all here so I am going to post a bunch of the workout pictures on the facebook page. Click the little facebook logo to the right above if you want to see the rest of the superhero crew I worked out with.
Dress Use #47: Washcloth
I threatened earlier today to use either cape or fly-tying material for tonight's post but the day caught up with me and I need a bit more time to organize those pictures. I think they are both very good and look forward to posting them in the near future. Somebody mentioned that with fly-tying application I should include the fishing portion of the use which makes sense. I am going to have to try my luck with the wedding dress fly so that I can prove my creation is more than just a blog prop and can actually fool a real fish. I'm confident it will work.
I mentioned in my last post that my kids came home after a long vacation. I am very happy to have them back. Two weeks seems like forever when you have never gone more than a few days without your kids. School starts back up soon and as much as I love my kids and must admit I cannot wait for school to start. This summer has been a major challenge for me. My work routine has been completely out of sorts and I look forward to getting back into the saddle and selling lots of boxes. I like routines and haven't had much of one for months.
Somebody posted a note on the facebook fan page for my site earlier today asking how I keep the dress so clean. The dress really isn't clean. I don't post dress uses in order which is why it appears clean at times. These pictures here were taken earlier when the dress was clean and show my ex-wife's wedding dress being used as a washcloth.
Dress Use #46: Windsock
I am exhausted. The last few days have been very busy for me. My kids came home on Thursday after a 2 week vacation and so my spirits are back up. I was completely out of sorts without them. I had a funeral to go to on Thursday, a burial on Friday, and a wedding last night. I need to go back to work tomorrow to recover from it all.
Funerals always cause me to reflect a lot on my own life and about the people that I care about. Along with a lot of my family I was very sad that we lost my Aunt Ethie last week. She was such a wonderful person that always had a smile on her face. She was very loving and it is her relationship with my Uncle Webb that gives me so much hope. They were married for 62 years.
A lot of people assume that because of my history I would not be fond of marriage but that isn't the case at all. I have received quite a few comments on my blog and emails to myexwifesweddingdress@gmail.com. A lot of people have shared tidbits about their situations with me. I have heard from a wide variety of people: married, divorced, and single - happy and unhappy. I have received quite a few stories about successful second marriages which are very encouraging. I have also received quite a few notes from people encouraging me to never marry again.
I had to take a class here in Arizona because I got a divorce and I have kids . . . one of the many perks about the whole process. The divorce statistics are scary. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise but for some reason I thought there might be a chance that second marriages were more successful that first marriages. That isn't the case but the numbers we were given in that class had them being extremely close. Second marriages are only 1-2 percentage points behind first marriages in terms of success rates, or so we were told. I thought for some reason that people would be more careful the second time around but maybe that isn't the case.
Well it turns out that I am really a big believer in marriage. I have witnessed many of them work and want to be like my Aunt Ethie and Uncle Webb. At this point I think the number they posted, 62, is too large for me to catch but I believe I still have time to string together enough years to post a big number of my own.
Here are some pictures of another dress use that came from the blog - windsock. It might look as if the dress doesn't work for this application but don't be fooled. With the help of the dress we were able to learn that the day these pictures were taken there was very little wind.
Dress Use #45: Tent
I'm still waiting for a decent rain here in Tucson. This is our rainy season and it just seems like it's not what it used to be. Humidity without rain is tough and what kills me about it is that I pretty much get teased on a daily basis which what appear to be major storms brewing around my house. Parts of town are getting some rain but it's not the total drenching that once was. We used to be able to count on it every day for weeks during our monsoon season.
It's amazing what a difference a year has made. This time last year I was up very early every morning (because I never really went to sleep) and I would run. I ran just about every morning that my kids weren't with me. I still run but now I'm stuck on a treadmill because I'm not up so early any more and it is so muggy in the evenings I just don't enjoy it. I cannot wait for the shorter days and the cooler nights. I'm amazed every year that people complain when our winter rolls in. Winter is a relative term. We don't get winters but once the highs here get below 80 people start putting on their sweaters. It is entertaining to witness. I have lived here my entire life but I have a high tolerance for Tucson cold because it really isn't cold. Some people can't even handle our cold. I'm sure it would be hard for me to adjust to life in a really cold climate but winter here is my favorite time of the year.
I really enjoy spending time outdoors which is why I don't care for our summers. I really enjoy camping, fishing, and hiking but mostly fishing. It is hard for me to get motivated to attempt a serious hike or to camp if it doesn't involve fish. Somebody suggested tent for a dress use so I gave it a shot. Don't be fooled by the dark clouds in these pictures - it didn't rain. I didn't put too much effort into securing a very sturdy tent but I have no doubts the dress is capable of it.
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Latest Uses
- Dress Use #52: Sun Shade
- Windsock Updated
- Dress Use #51: Juice Strainer
- Dress Use #50: Bath/Shower Mat
- Dress Use #36 Updated: Oil Cloth
- Dress Use #49: Frost Cloth
- Dress Use #48: Cape
- Dress Use #47: Washcloth
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