MY EX-WIFE´S
WEDDING DRESS

A little while after my ex moved out I was at my parents house having dinner.  I was spending a lot of time with my family trying to avoid quiet nights at home.  My kids were being shuffled back and forth and when I had them I was very busy but when they weren’t with me I didn’t know exactly what to do in my home alone.  In the 10 years that I lived in my home I was very rarely alone.  It’s ironic that when you have young kids you think you want time alone – no noise in the house.  But when they aren’t there you really miss the commotion.  It can be eerily quiet. So anyways, I was having dinner with my folks and my brother and sister-in-law and I told them about my predicament.  My wife had left our home and at her final exit took a stand and refused to take her wedding dress.  I have a large walk-in-closet in my bedroom and my clothes occupied one small wall.  Once her stuff had been cleared out the closet was virtually empty.  From the outside looking in the only item that could be seen was the Bridal Keepsake box holding her dress and it was perfectly centered on the main shelf.  She left it for me to deal with.  I asked her to take it and she refused, telling me to do what I wanted with it. “What should I do with it?” I asked at the dinner table that night.  My brother was quick to point out that it would be handy for wiping a specific part of my body.  A few more suggestions were thrown out before my sister-in-law suggested there were 101 uses for the dress.  The wheels in  my head began turning and that is how this all began.  What could a newly single guy going it alone for the first time in forever use this dress for?  I had no idea how many practical applications a wedding dress has.