Apr 24 2010
Dress Use #4: Grill Cover
Trazodone vs. Ambien . . . which sleeping pill is better? It is insane that I am able to weigh in on this topic because I was always a champion in terms of being able to sleep.  I’m the guy on the airplane who closes his eyes after take-off and wakes up during landing.  A bad night for me used to be when I wasn’t asleep within 3 minutes after my head hit the pillow.  When my ex-wife moved out she took with her my sleepy gift.  10:00 had been my average weeknight bedtime but that didn’t fly any more.  I began to push that time back to 12:00 and hoped to log at least 4 hours of shut-eye before beginning another day.  I had difficulty stringing together more than a couple consecutive hours of sleep each night. I struggled for a week or so before I broke down and called my doctor.  After explaining the situation I received a prescription for Trazodone.  I hadn’t heard of it before but I had high hopes that it was the answer to my night time trouble.  It wasn’t.  Trazodone sucks.  Not only did it not make me sleep but it made me groggy and stupid for a solid 12 hours.  The only thing worse than not being able to sleep is not being able to sleep while feeling like crap.  I had heard good things about Ambien from others so I put in another call to the doc and he hooked me up. The first night that I took Ambien I consumed a whole pill.  I figured I would take it well before I planned to go to bed for the best result.  I popped a pill and jumped online for some late night browsing.  I can’t honestly say exactly how much time passed when I realized the arrow on the screen didn’t seem to match my mouse movements.  I pressed on determined to stay awake longer but my body wouldn’t do what I wanted it to.  So I called it quits and stood up to make my way to my room on the opposite side of the house.  I was bumping into walls along my way and have no memory of climbing into bed.  I woke up fresh the next morning.  It’s the craziest thing but it is actually much easier to wake up the morning after taking Ambien than it would be otherwise.  I had discovered the answer to my problem, a problem I hoped was temporary.  But there was a catch.  Ambien works too well, at least for me.  I have heard others say they took it and nothing happened and I’m calling bullshit on that.  It works so well that I could only take it on nights that I was home alone because I couldn’t risk being completely out of it with my kids on my watch. Did I mention that wedding dresses make incredible grill covers?  Check out the pictures in the albums sections and you too will be convinced that my ex’s dress was made to cover my grill.

    31 comments on “Dress Use #4: Grill Cover

    1. manuel c g on said:

      podias usarlo como paracaidas al hincharse su falda o ponerselo a un caballo. Me gustan mucho las fotos y me gustaria verlas todas. Manu.

    2. Maggie on said:

      This seriously fit perfectly!

    3. Alice on said:

      I think that that dress makes that grill look quite classy and sophisticated!

      I just want to say that your blog has been of great amusement to me in these last few months as I am not going through a divorce but instead a wedding. I have had to go to so many awful wedding dress stores and try so many on that it is nice to see one tortured as such. I feel as if I’m getting my revenge on them through you in a weird way.

      But good luck on your divorce and I know things will probably never get easy but I hope that they get easier. :)

    4. Sarah on said:

      Yes, definitely take the Ambien when you are already in bed. I also sometimes took only half of a pill when I was taking it. LOVE your blog and your dress useage ideas! :-)

    5. Yasu on said:

      I couldn’t sleep well when my ex husband left the house, didn’t need any pills either, I guess my mind and my body got used to not sleeping with someone within 3 weeks after he left, of course I wasn’t married for 12 years but only 2, and we didn’t have any kids, anyways that was my experience about…. also I’ve noticed I sleep much better when someone sleep over with me, I guess is the lack of company and the stress of not knowing what’s going to happen next

    6. juli on said:

      advil pm. nuff said

    7. Cheryl on said:

      Ah, Ambien. I tried it last year when I had insomnia. I thought it was working well until my husband told me one day that I had woken him up in the middle of the night to tell him about the Ewoks in our bedroom. I kid you not. I stopped taking it after that.

    8. Phillip on said:

      Which world are you living in Pam? This is’nt the 50s.. if someone leaves you and tells you to do “Whatever” with the wedding dress there is’nt a code of ethics that binds you to treating it with respect just because the person who wore it ‘used’ to love you..

    9. Connie on said:

      OMG!!! I am laughing hysterically (once again) about your #4 Grill Cover photo, but more-so about the sleeping issue … I call BS on anyone that says Ambien doesn’t work too … I have also experienced the quick effects of using the med for sleep deprevation … long story short … I know that I have done the following – WITHOUT MEMORY – mind you … drivin my daughter to school (VERY scary); cooked, eaten while I was asleep, tried to decorate the christmas tree — my daughter ended up doing it all … had conversations on the phone … driven … again — and gotten lost within a block of my house … Needless to say, I no longer take the med … and just deal with the few hours I get of sleep …

      You continue to keep me laughing hysterically! I’m married for over 20 years now … my wedding dress … well, I gave it to my daughter to use for dress up! It’s long gone now!!! But some good memories there with her playing in it!!

    10. The week after my ex-husband left me I had – surprise, surprise – some trouble sleeping. Not only was I in the throes of “wow, he has been having an affair with my best friend for 6 months and now he has left me with 3 children 4 and under” insomnia, I also had been experiencing pain in my hip for several months which was making comfortable sleep just that *little* bit harder.

      So, I went to the GP and asked for some sleeping tablets, so I could at least get to sleep and have some chance of coping with my new, uninvited, life.

      Once he uncovered the previous week’s events, he wanted to write a prescription for anti-depressants! I wasn’t depressed, just sad… and tired. Sleep tablets did help to a degree, and I have never needed anti-depressants.

      It’s been almost 5 years since he left and I experience a little bit of sadness every day, but it does get better :)

    11. Dude you are a genius

    12. Holden on said:

      Grill cover is all time, great work. I’ve been sleeping horribly since my soon to be ex left as well, I’ve been trying to stay away from the prescription stuff in favor of benedryl. The problem is when I do sleep I have horrible nightmares about what she did. Oh well, we’ll all get through this together, best of luck.

    13. cgib on said:

      I am one of those people who seem to be immune to ambien. That’s true of every other sleeping aid I’ve tried, and some other unrelated drugs as well. I’ve always figured it’s due to either some weird brain chemistry or possibly a kidney issue, but doctors have never found a reason.

      I love listening to the strangeness other people experience while taking it, though – makes me wish I could at least once!

    14. edob on said:

      ambien is a great pill to take if you need to sleep. it doesn’t make you groggy and completely out of it (like lunesta does, i have no experience with trazodone). instead, i wake up feeling great!

      anyways, i love your ideas with the wedding dress. a grill cover is perfect haha. when i think of an original idea myself, i’ll let you know :)

    15. coldwater71 on said:

      oh yeah, and pam needs to lighten up.

    16. coldwater71 on said:

      yep, the grill cover is hilarious. As a 38 yr old self-proclaimed life-long bachelorette just getting ready to be married for the first time in her life on 10.10.10… “I” myself, was actually pondering what to do with that huge monstrosity of a dress after the wedding was over. I love your blog… can’t wait for the other 90-or-so ideas you are sure to come up with! I may have to steal one of your ideas!

    17. I like your blog. It’s a great way to deal with pain and all the other crap that comes from divorce. And I’ve been Ambien for a while. It’s cured 10+ years of insomnia. I do some weird things on it though so I agree with the person who said to put away the phone and computer before you take it. One conversation I had with my husband apparently was to warn him about drinking the water because it gives you “biscuits of the penis.” Yeah. Not sure what that was about. God bless Ambien.

    18. I know that you’re trying to be funny, but you did choose this woman to be your bride and the mother of your children. I think that for the sake of your children and your own character, you should remove this and refrain from any behavior that dishonors her and casts you in a terrible light. How do you think your son learns to be a man and to treat women, if not primarily from you? Be careful not to cause him to stumble any more than you already have.

    19. Pedestrienne on said:

      @Mary – Seconded.

      Not sure anyone ever got anywhere beginning an address with “hey moron”, besides.

    20. Lynn on said:

      Grill cover is definitely my favorite! Enjoying your site.

    21. Lynn on said:

      Ambien is great for sleep. One caution though that I think you already get… before you take it, shut down your computer, hide your telephone to prevent sending odd text msgs to friends or even stranger calls to your ex. Take it on an empty stomach and lay down ASAP.

    22. Dr Jack on said:

      You rock dude. O man I fully endorce you.

      Dr Jack
      Fat Chick Productions

    23. The grill cover is great! How about keeping with the outdoor theme and using it for a hammock or patio umbrella.

    24. As an ex wife myself, I think what you are doing is awesome. You could use it as a tree skirt, dust cloth but I am pretty sure that dress is big enough to make a tent out of when you are out camping. Good luck with your book!

    25. Mary on said:

      Hey Dolores Didbiase – I don’t think you are really “getting” this. It isn’t about money.

    26. Joe Abernathy on said:

      I only have one question…why is the guy in the background at the gym wearing a chef’s cap to exercise?

    27. Monica on said:

      I like the scarecrow

    28. Blondeblue on said:

      I know where you are coming from…ambien is so bizarre. I haven’t slept well since my divorce either :(

    29. DOLORES DIDBIASE on said:

      hey moron, before you totally demolish it if you haven’t already, why don’t you sell it to a wedding dress store that buys used wedding dresses and get some money

    30. Colin on said:

      That dress makes a perfect grill cover…I couldn’t believe how perfectly it worked as a grill cover!

    31. Colin on said:

      I could seriously use this. My grill desperately needs a cover.

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