It isn’t easy to get married in Mexico we quickly discovered.  $800 to apply, blood tests that must be taken at a Mexican lab, and a minimum of 7 days spent in the country prior to the ceremony.  My guess is that there is probably a way around that for the rich and famous, but we didn’t have the time to pull it off.  We would need another plan.  We didn’t short ourselves the Mexico vacation, however, and figured taking our honeymoon prior to getting married was brilliant idea.

Then I believe that on June 9th of last year (a month or so after the honeymoon) Ashley and I decided a wedding didn’t have to be that complicated.  We could do it at home, we could plan it ourselves, and it wouldn’t cost a fortune.  9 days later we were married in our backyard with around 60 friends and family members.  It was perfect except that one of my sisters couldn’t come and bring her family on short notice.  We missed them.  The Reverend Colin T. Cotter mastered the ceremony.  The ink on his Universal Life Church minister card hadn’t dried yet.

I learned some interesting things about Arizona marriage law in those 9 days leading up to our wedding.  Did you know you can marry your first cousin in Arizona?  True story – but you have to be 65 years or older.  I think had I known that sooner I still would have chosen Ashley over holding out for a first cousin 27 years down the road.  Also the laws on who can officiate a wedding in Arizona are a bit foggy.  We had heard of people having friends or relatives officiate weddings but didn’t know how it all worked.  The law says the wedding official must be a licensed minister in some church.  Did that mean somebody could be ordained by the church of Dudeism and legally oversee a wedding?  We wanted to get married on our terms, but we also wanted to make sure it was legally binding.  Ashley sent an e-mail to the local office that would have the answer and they responded by phone.

We learned that in Arizona they don’t verify anything when they received the signed marriage license back in the mail.  As long as their are signatures on the lines for bride, groom, witness 1, witness 2, and wedding official then you are legally married once the document is filed.  You don’t need to have a wedding.  You don’t really need a licensed official.  Of course, we didn’t cheat the system.  For approximately $20 Colin did become a Universal Life minister.  Heck, he can even build a brick and mortar church if he wants.  I splurged and got him the wall certificate and wallet card.  Getting married in Tucson and looking for someone to oversee your wedding?  Colin is your man.  He is confident, well spoken, and showers most days.

I thought the funniest part about how we went about getting married was the actual visit downtown when we picked up our marriage license.  There would have to some red tape there right?  I mean how easy can it be to get the license?  WE DIDN’T HAVE TO SHOW I.D. to get our marriage license.  That’s right.  As soon as we left the office I turned to Ashley and said “Best practical joke ever – get two people married without them knowing.”  I mean how funny would that be if somebody went to get married and discovered they already were?  I actually did show my I.D. to the clerk who gave us our license, but only because I paid by credit card (yes – I’m old fashioned like that – marry me and we don’t go dutch – I picked up all $72).

So there you have it:  9 days of planning, one ordained brother, $72, a beautiful yet inexpensive wedding dress (Yes – she wore a dress!), some catered Greek food and we were married, and most importantly a life time to look forward to sharing with my bride . . . priceless.

The Wedding may be known as the “bride’s big day,” but the groom is getting married to right?  Be The Man:  The Man Registry Guide For Grooms – A practical (and funny) guide to navigating the wedding minefield leads grooms-to-be through the wedding planning process – from choosing an engagement ring through planning the honeymoon.

Co-founder of TheManRegistry.com and author Chris Easter says, “We already know that you’re ‘the man’ in your everyday life.  Now, It’s time to become ‘the married man,’ which includes stepping up and taking an active role in preparing for the most important day of your life.”

From the wedding budget to the bachelor party, from rehearsal to reception, Be The Man, will help grooms-to-be grow from an innocent bystander in the planning process to a connoisseur who finds a way to leave a personal mark on his wedding.  The book includes suggestions and tips for:

• Engagement ring shopping
• Wedding plan of attach and duties for dudes
• Wedding party and guest list
• Registering for gifts
• Bachelor Party
• Style and Attire
• Ceremony, reception and wedding night
• Honeymoon
• What to do with the dress after the wedding  – Just kidding . . . what happened to this chapter Chris?

But, the mayhem was fun.  I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  My sister Lisa and her family stayed with us for a week.  My brother-in-law Eric and his family spent the night on Christmas Eve.  Santa delivered presents to 7 children and Santa did not hold back – the mountain of corrugated to recycle was massive.

And my mother did manage to get Ashley’s name onto my stocking that she keeps at her house.  There was concern last year because the red thread from my ex-wife’s name had seemingly stained the stocking for good.  Last year my stocking had a bow over my ex’s name.  I didn’t ask my mom her secret, but she did managed to get it white again.  I bet she bleached it a little every night since last Christmas.  And just to be safe she made Ashley’s name a bit bolder than the rest.  I have the boldest stocking spouse in my family – take that siblings.

I’m sure mom plans on holding onto these stocking forever which makes me even more motivated to make my marriage work.  If, for some reason, Ashley kicks me to the curb someday my next Match.com profile will have to include:  “Man seeks woman who is named Ashley for companionship.”  I guess the good news is that the name Ashley didn’t become popular until the mid 80′s so any future Ashley responding to my ad in the event the current one dumps me would be considerably younger than me.

2011 was quite a year.  I look forward to 2012 and wish everybody the best.  Happy New Year!

Online dating is an interesting phenomenon.  Truth be told I used to look down on it – of course then I was married.  Heck when I dated the internet didn’t exist in a form like it does now.  But I used to think that people that needed the internet to find love must be flawed.  I was wrong.  After my divorce in 2009 I wanted to get back out there, but wasn’t in a position where I had all sorts of free time to dedicate to that cause.  I decided to give the internet a chance and after a short amount of time on a free internet site I decided that a small investment might be justified.  I figured $30 would guarantee no correspondence with people just screwing around and I bought 3 months of everything Match.com had to offer.

Every few nights I checked out the local ladies.  I sent a few messages and winked at some that caught my eye.  Yes – one can wink on Match.com.  Ashley says winking is lame and is probably right.  Her position is that a simple note is far cooler than a wink.  No effort is required for a wink.  You pick the person, click “wink”, and they are notified of your interest.  She says she paid no attention to winks she received.  Now that I think about it few women I winked at ever acknowledged my winks – and I think I winked at the majority of single Match.com women in the Tucson area.  Perhaps she is right – the wink is probably lame.  Anyhow . . . I was on Match.com winking away and went on a few Match.com dates that were busts.  After a few weeks I decided Match.com wasn’t for me.  However, I had prepaid for 3 months, so I still received the occasional message from women in pursuit of me.  Oh did I receive messages over those couple of months (at least 2 – including Ashley’s).

Ashley claims I was the only guy she hit on.  Her story is that she signed on the Match.com half-heartedly and turned down lots of guys in town.  According to her all of them were topless in their profile pictures.  Apparently my Tucson competition liked to show their chests.  I don’t doubt she had a lot of suitors.  She also claims I was the only guy she ever reached out to – not with a wink but a message.  I showed up in her daily 5 I believe.  When you sign on to Match.com they send you a message every day with 5 people they recommend for you.  Even though I was outside of Ashley’s specified age range (I was 36 at the time and her cutoff was 35 – lots of women make their upper cutoff 35 so if you are a guy 36 or 37 lie and say you are 35) she found me so irresistible that she sent me a note.  That’s a believable story the way I see it.

I’m telling this story like it all makes sense to me.  It doesn’t.  I got lucky.  I could not have predicted in a million years that I could meet a woman like Ashley on Match.com.  I reflect at times and have a hard time believing how this all played out.   After Ashley messaged me we corresponded for weeks before we met.  It’s crazy but I felt like I had a very good sense of who she was before that first date – a date that ended with a high five (I don’t waste any time).

Now we are married and are busy taking care of our perfectly blended family.  It didn’t start with a wink, and I can’t believe this is the case, but I have Match.com to thank for helping me find Ashley . . . or helping Ashley find me.  Technically she found me.

With the books I am giving away I am including bookmarks cut from my ex-wife’s wedding dress with this disclaimer:  Do not let your children put this bookmark in their mouths.  If you would also like a copy of my book and a wedding dress bookmark check out my Facebook page for contests of send me something creative that you did with a wedding dress.  If I like what you did I’ll send you a book.  Thanks!

It was our second annual TGIF or “Thanksgiving is Friday” celebration. Last year Ashley and I weren’t excited about attending any Thanksgiving gathering without all three of our kids – who are all on blended family time shares of some variety. So Ashley suggested Friday be our big celebration day and we invite everyone to our place.  TGIF is what she called it.  It works out well because pretty much everyone in town has the Friday after Thanksgiving open so it is now another excuse for all of us to get together. We had around 35 people over and the added twist this year was we moved into our new house the week before. We might be crazy, but I believe we pulled it off.

We followed TGIF up with birthday gatherings for my nephew Jack and mom on Saturday and Sunday. On Sunday my 9 year old said “Dad – we celebrated Thanksgiving (Thursday), Franksgiving (Friday), Sanksgiving (Saturday), and Sunksgiving (Sunday)” which I thought was cute.

After moving last week and everything that goes along with that a day in my cubicle and some customer visits today felt like a day off.

There is one more day . . . or I guess about 12 more hours to guess the weight of my ex-wife’s wedding dress in it’s carrying sack to win a signed copy of my book along with one potentially toxic wedding dress bookmark. I’m ending that Facebook contest tomorrow morning and based on the guesses so far I think people think this thing is bigger than it actually is.

It’s exciting to be in a new house that my wife Ashley and I can start our lives together in.

With all the juggling I have been doing I haven’t figured out what I will do with all these books my publisher gave me. What does one do with dozens of books? The majority of my family and friends bought books. So I would like to give some of them away. I will include a bookmark in each of the books I gave away that will be made from my ex-wife’s wedding dress. I wonder if I should disinfect them before I send them to people? Perhaps I will just include a disclaimer to make sure your young ones don’t end up with the bookmark in their mouths and a suggestion to wash your hands after handling it. Or maybe I will laminate them in plastic? Probably not – sounds like work.

So – if you have done anything creative with a wedding dress send me a picture. You can e-mail me myexwifesweddingdress@gmail.com. Or you can post the picture on the Facebook page wall. If I like what you did I’ll send you a book.

It was also suggested that I have a contest to guess the weight of my ex-wife’s dress. I’m curious myself to see what it weighs. It’s not light. So – I am going to weigh the dress in the handy sack I store it in (picture below). Come closest to guessing the weight and win a book and potentially hazardous bookmark. Weight will be in pounds rounded to the nearest tenth (example – 14.3 lbs).  That contest will run on my Facebook page which can be found here FACEBOOK.

I want to thank everyone who took time on a Tuesday night to be a part of my first ever book signing.  I really had no idea what to expect but the event actually turned out to be a lot of fun.  I was slightly intimidated when I saw the layout after being directed to the back of the Barnes & Noble store last night.  There were quite a few chairs set up along with a table and a microphone.  I guess they weren’t kidding about the “talk” part of the event.  I turned to my brother Colin and asked him what exactly we were supposed to do.  He looked at me and said “we?”

Valerie (the store manager in the picture with me) and her crew were all great and I thank them for all their help putting this together.  I don’t know if there are more events like this in store for me, but I am very happy that I did this one.

I was caught off guard with one question that I was asked and I would like to change my answer.  I was asked who would play me and who would play my brother if a movie were ever made about my story.  I answered Ben Stiller for me and Will Ferrell for Colin.  After more thought I think it would be more fitting if I were played by Brad Pitt and Colin were played by Jack Black.

I was just informed that the books my publisher sends me are in transit and due to arrive any day.  I already have homes for a few of them with people who helped me along the way but I will have more books than I know what to do with.  I have been waiting for them to run some contests – exactly what contests I’m not sure.  So my first book contest will be ideas for book contests.  Send me your contest ideas for how I can give away some of these books.  If I use your contest idea I will send you a signed copy of 101 Uses For My Ex-Wife’s Wedding Dress along with bookmark made from  . . .  my ex-wife’s wedding dress!  

It’s easy to submit your idea.  Just like My Ex-Wife’s Wedding Dress Facebook page and write your contest idea on the wall.  Please include “CONTEST IDEA” at the beginning.

Thanks! 

Frank Show Interview

Bob and Sheri Show

I got a note recently from Jake Huey who shared some pictures with me that tie in well with the season.  He, too, inherited a wedding dress.  He is a creative guy and has come up with some good looking halloween props using his ex’s dress.  Nice work Jake and thank for the pics.

I’m including my Halloween costume from last year in this set of pictures.  So we have my pumpkin carving blanket, last year’s caveman outfit (even though most people thought I was Moses), and my buddy Jake Huey’s creative Halloween props.  Happy Halloween.