Apr 26 2010
Dress Use #5: Scarecrow

I love being outside.  My yard is a place that provides a lot of comfort for me.  I like it to be kept a certain way because I relax much better in a yard that is tidy.  The truth is I’m a little neurotic about certain things in the spaces I live.  Those who know the condition of my cubicle where I work might have a hard time believing it but I have some freakishly neat tendencies.  I think the leaf blower is the greatest invention of all time.  I have never smoked crack  but I imagine that those addicted to it experience the same rush when they light up as I do when I blow leaves.

I am not a particularly stressful person but I was worried about how I would keep up with everything once I was on my own.  I work full time and was lucky enough to be in a position before where my wife didn’t have to work.  I had the time I needed to satisfy my obsessive compulsive disorder.  I don’t really know if I have OCD but I recognize my need to have things a certain way and I questioned if I could keep things the way I wanted flying solo.

I really like to experiment with different types of plants in both pots and the natural desert soil around my home.  I couple seasons ago I decided to try my luck with tomatoes and other vegetables in a small section of my yard.  I wouldn’t say I’ve been overly successful with that project and I think it has a lot do with the western exposure of my backyard and the fact that I chose a spot that gets no afternoon shade.  All my other ground plants get watered automatically but I hand water the vegetable garden.  A single day without water in the summer is enough to do a lot of damage to my garden.

Birds haven’t really caused me major problems in the past but I decided to be proactive and installed a scarecrow in my yard next to my garden.  This is one of my favorite uses to date for the dress.

    35 Responses
    • LOL this one is awsome my first thought was craking a joke of Darth Vader saying “Luke does this Dress make me look fat?”

    • HariKariButterKnife

      LOL @ Lea’s comment!!!

      Dye it brown and fashion it into an owl, then post it on the roof of your house keep away pigeons.

    • This is what kills me: the thing looks like it’s coming ’round the corner of your house to rail at you.

    • TheBridalCase

      wowww.. amazingg. nice article buddy.. keep posting 🙂 thanks for sharing

    • la mirada de rasputi

      muy bueno

    • This is quite possibly the most amazing picture I’ve ever seen. I hope you wear that helmet with pride when it’s not on the scarecrow. 🙂

    • Emerio Alonso

      The best !!! Brilliant !!! Ha, ha ha. Can You use on October 31? Please !!!

    • you sir are a frickin jenious you have the best sence of humour i have ever known and you are da bom
      this is an awsome site and i hope you keep going.

      all mu luck

    • The BEST!
      I love your healthy sense of humor and fun.

    • OMG!!!! LMFAO!!!!

    • The Best! LOL

    • I love the scarecrow…lol… Too funny. The darth vader helmet rocks! I have the darth vader imperial march (I think that’s what it’s called), with him saying “The darkside of the force is calling you. You underestimate the power of the darkside” as my ex husband’s ringtone….Great minds think alike.

    • You, sir, are genius! Thanks for the laughs.

    • Coool!!

    • This is my favorite!
      Thanks ! 🙂

    • Oh, give the guy a break. There are plenty of used wedding dresses available at the thrift store or to rent if somebody’s that broke. You don’t NEED a wedding dress to get married in. I was the world’s broke-est bride and I don’t begrudge him a good cathartic laugh.

    • The darth vader helm is classic. Awesome (possibly unintentional) statement.

    • Vikram Grover

      You can use the dress to Toilet Paper someone’s house.

    • It didn’t occur to him Martha – because used wedding dresses are much like used wedding rings; you women won’t take or use them (family heirlooms are another story)

    • I’ve seen all 13 uses and this one is my favorite by far! Love the Darth Vader helmet! Can’t wait for the next post.

    • This is by far the best of them all. LOVE IT!

    • SCARY!!!! aaah!!

    • Silly question, but are you dry-cleaning it each time? Most of these uses result in ickiness, and as a germaphobe, I can’t imagine how annoying it must be to have to keep cleaning it for re-use.

    • Did it ever occur to you amid all your humor that there might be a young bride out there, unable to afford a pretty wedding gown, who would have loved to give you $10-20 for something you obviously think is worthless?
      It would have been a much nicer use of it, but of course you couldn’t get laughs and photo ops…….

    • Try tie dying…..that would be unique!

    • You seem like a hot guy, WTH! Why did she leave?? I would have kept you!

    • Lori Sellitto

      So far the best one yet

    • You sir, are awesome!

    • Okay, it’s fine about the dress. How did you end up divorcing? What’s started it?

    • What a naughty boy you are

    • Haha. This is my favorite!

    • So far my favorite!!

    • AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

    • FUNNY!

    • Corie Johnson

      That is still surprisingly clean considering you used it as a tablecloth.

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